LYL PODCAST EPISODE 113: Love Notes to My Body

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I grew up with self-loathing and developed hatred for my body.

And when menopause happened for me, I had to transition.

Weight piled on to my body, and my clothes didn’t fit…

I looked in the mirror and hated myself.

And that came not from menopause but from ballet when I was a child.

My mother’s desire was to enroll me in ballet and so she did when I was 4 years old.

It was fun dancing around and being on stage for the recitals every year, but fundamentally, I was a tomboy.

I liked trucks, pants, and climbing trees. I hated picture day when I had to wear a dress or put my hair in ringlets.

And as I grew older, I detested those ballet classes more and more.

I always thought I was bigger than the other girls. Thicker. More muscular.

I was a sprinter and I often challenged the boys in the neighborhood to races. And I won!

Unfortunately, like many parents, mine were wrapped up in their lives and didn’t see that their little girl would have thrived in track and field or even a sport like soccer or swim team.

So I languished in ballet class, wearing tutus, feeling fat and insecure—especially as puberty hit.

And that’s when she started. That voice in my head. She started calling me fat and continued until I discovered the trick to silence her.

Fast forward to when I gained a lot of weight in menopause (like 50, 60 pounds)…

And I thought it was all my fault.

Whatever we’re exposed to as truth as children is what we’re going to bring into our adult lives.

But when we start to observe our thoughts and say, “I don’t have to think this way. How can I change the way I’m thinking now?”

We can make our lives anything we want.

And I talk more about that in today’s episode with award-winning author of Love Notes to My Body, Nicole Ayers.

During the podcast, we talk about Nicole’s journey to self-love PLUS:

• Meditation as a tool for awareness
• How things are and how we get to self-loathing
• The legacy of thought we can pass on to our children
• The role of journaling in self-expression and change
• Processing grief about our bodies
• Creating a relationship with your body
• Power of gratitude
• How accepting your body can be an act of rebellion

And stay to the end to find out the 3 tools you can use to cultivate a kinder and gentler relationship with your body.

If you’re ready to stop waging war against your body, tune in to today’s podcast!


• Check my latest podcast or listen to the previous ones

• Connect with me on Instagram @drmichellegordon

• Follow me on Facebook

• Join the MENO-Pod Facebook group

• Apply for our current LIVE Beta test at NO CHARGE ($499 Value) in exchange for feedback and testimonials.

• Sign up for the 28-Day MENO-Belly Challenge here

• Visit Nicole Ayers’ website

Books and Documentaries mentioned in this episode:

• Love Notes to My Body

• Love Letters to My Body: Writing My Way to Self-Love

• Writing Your Way to (Self-)Love: A Guided Journal to Help You Love Your Body, One Part at a Time

What’s Discussed in This Episode: 

[0:00] Introduction

[6:52] How Nicole got into self-love as a calling or passion

[9:37] Meditation as a vehicle for observation

[11:54] Where Nicole’s negative thoughts came from

[15:27] Awareness is the first step to healing your relationship with your body

[16:48] The legacy part and how Nicole changes the programming she grew up with

[21:29] Acceptance of where we are

[22:42] The importance of community

[23:49] Journaling

[31:32] If you want joy in your life, it’s gratitude

[35:59] How choosing to accept your body is an act of rebellion

[41:45] Three tools to cultivate a kinder, gentler relationship with your body

[47:13] This is a journey, not an end point

About the Guest:

Self-love sage and author Nicole C. Ayers is a dynamic and engaging speaker who’s not afraid to get vulnerable and real about her personal journey to love herself. She’s a strong voice for female empowerment and the freedom it brings.

Nicole is the award-winning author of Love Notes to My Body, which was recognized as one of 2020’s best life-changing books, and its two body-positive companion books.

Dr. Michelle Gordon

Surgeon, TV Host, Author, Speaker.
Fall in love with your life, one habit at a time. 
No fluff.
Action Based.

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